In the domestic violence story below a beautiful growth pattern that happens with a few people involved in domestic violence is illustrated. The first stage of the story comes when the person is in the heart of being abused in a domestic violence situation. In the second stage of the story, there is an evolution into a new phase where the person thinks deeply about what happened. She gains an rich understanding of how she was damaged by the abuse. With love and compassion for others in similar circumstances, she reaches out with hernew wisdom to have an impact. I really compliment the writer of this story for her strong message of help for others. (Domestic violence counselors often do this. Having come through abuse themselves, they pull wisdom from their own pain and then dedicate themselves to helping others.)
I was raped as a child by two of my uncles, and molested by a cousin and my fathers girlfriend.
I did what I was told to do as a child; I told an adult- my teacher. She in turn told the principal who in turn told DSS and that got the prosecution of my uncles on the roll. I do remember my family, especially my mother, being very upset with me. I remember I told a doctor who was examining me that I wanted my uncles to go to jail and my mother saying that I should not say that because bad things happen to people in jail. I felt so worthless that my mother was more concerned about what would happen to my two uncles that raped her five year old daughter than she was about me.
From this point on in my life I felt worthless especially when it came to my relationships with men. I am 23 years old and have been in two abusive relationships. The last relationship was with my husband. I stayed with him for almost three years, I guess I only knew men violating me, it seemed normal. I wasn't valued much as a child so I didn't value myself much as an adult. He has beat me so bad I had to get surgery and I had a miscarriage a little over a year ago. I would call the police and press charges with each assault but, CDV isn't a high priority on the courts list. I still fault myself for my child's death because I feel me staying there was what killed my child. I just would take the violence and accept it, I would accept and hide my bruises the best I could. I would accept the worthlessness I felt with in me. The inability to get out to leave without him finding me. I was literally a prisoner.
It wasn't until I was watching a preacher on TV one night that I decided that I was loved by God and valued greatly by him. I decided to get my own place and I did. But not more than a week after I moved into my apartment did my husband show up at my door at 3 in the morning, begging to be let in. When I continued to tell him NO he broke my living room window, climbed through the window and kicked in my bedroom door. He fought me and sat on top of me for over an hour before I convinced him to let me up. He was so intoxicated that he passed out and I called the police. I am happy to say that he was sentenced to 2 years in prison. I know many might say that's all but, he got time for a CDV charge from me. The judge did give me some justice, too bad it wasn't in time to save my child's life.
The message I want to send is life gives us all roads to travel, lessons to learn and to teach. However; we must remember that the road that leads us to a devasting destination if we turn around can also lead us to a new beginning. Value yourself !